Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
