he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
