Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
sarcasm needs its own font
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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