I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize