On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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