your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
