it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize