I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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