This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize