So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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