I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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