Moan for me like Helen Keller
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
