She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize