...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
