You really coming over, don't trick.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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