So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
