i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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