Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He better not be in your backpack
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
