for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
