I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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