There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
