When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
