Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
