I wanna bring you to show and tell
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
