3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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