Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
