My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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