Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
