this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it hurts more in the daytime
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
