I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
