if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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