I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
