I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
