I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize