Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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