do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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