we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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