some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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