we have pet lesbian snakes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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