It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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