so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
