Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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