Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize