i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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