i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
bring money and cleavage
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
