I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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