What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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