I can't breathe out the right side of my face
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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