# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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