Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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