The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
