We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
