I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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