last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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