btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
there is glitter all over my balls
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
