I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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