mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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