I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
