I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
